Books and Movies, Musings


I finally saw Frozen last weekend. Several friends told me to watch it, so Hannah and I went on a little date.

There is so much more to this movie than I could possibly put in one post.


I have been coming to grips and learning who I really am. At the For Action Conference we did a lot of self examination and introspection. It has taken me a while to accept that this is a good thing and not self centered. In fact, to not take a good look at yourself is to ignore a certain bit of the image of God. You can’t be all you can be and use your gifts to help others without knowing who you are. Frozen was an amazing picture of my journey so far.

Elsa has a beautiful magic. As a small child she uses it and enjoys it. But then something happens and she is told that she must hide her gift. She puts up walls and keeps everyone out. She resents her gift.

I did very similarly. Our family bought into some very harmful teachings just as I was beginning to find my magic. I stopped showing emotion. Oh, sure. I never looked like it. At worst I was just shy. And, that’s ok for some people. But it’s not me. I lived “Concealed. Don’t Feel.” for 8 years. I remember the night that I decided I couldn’t share anymore, that I only hurt people when I did.

Elsa slips up and uses her magic. She runs away to the mountains. She’s alone, but it’s ok. Lonely freedom is better than life in a crowded box.

This summer when we changed churches I left my crowded box. I have been lonelier this school year than ever before in my life. As terrible as this sounds like it would be for an extrovert, I found the people who actually refuel me. These are people who think for themselves, who ask questions, and people I can relax with and talk to without feeling like a burden.

Elsa was forced to come back from her beautiful ice castle because others were hurting. She couldn’t just leave them there to suffer. She had her time in the castle to practice her gift, but in the end you can’t live alone. She has to go back to free the kingdom from the cold.

I’m leaving the castle now. I was forced. It would have been so easy to just stay alone in my frozen castle. I can’t sit idly by and let people hurt, especially when they hurt in ways that I used to hurt. It’s important to spend some time in the castle to learn who you are and to rest, but when you are done resting, it is time to move to action. Even if it just means being different, that is still action.

Elsa knew she had to leave her mountain, but once she got back to Arendalle she didn’t know how to end the winter. In the end she figured it out, and it looked obvious. Love. It wasn’t true loves kiss that broke this spell. It was love for her family and her kingdom.

I’m leaving my castle because I love. I love my sisters and brothers who are stuck in their crowded boxes. There isn’t room to find their magic, let alone use it. But I still love them. So I’ll come down.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Let it GO.

That perfect girl is gone.

Elsa’s love melted the kingdom.

I’m here to melt.

{PART 2: Frozen Heart}