I write. I can’t help it. If I don’t write, I go through life discontent and outright grumpy.
But sometimes the words won’t come. Or, if they do, they aren’t in the right order. I try to write them down anyway, but no matter how I rearrange the phrases, they just won’t congeal. This has happened for the past two weeks. Directly after writing Volumes of Rows I could hardly put together a coherent paragraph. For the second week I could build paragraphs, but they were never quite right. They didn’t fit with each other. They weren’t focussed.
Always back to that for me, isn’t it? I can’t focus. I couldn’t figure out what to say. I couldn’t figure out why I even blog. I knew I wrote because words are mine. I love them and they love me. We dance together to a music that can’t be heard or stopped. But why should I share that with anyone? Why should anyone?
Why should I blog? I’m not important. I’m certainly no genius. I don’t have anything to say that has never been said before.
Wait, what? Annie, everyone should blog. You practically preach that to anyone that will give you five minutes of their time. Really think. Why do you blog.
Because I’m not special. Everything I write can be found somewhere else. But I say it anyway because no one will believe something that is said by only one person. That’s just not good research. You need at least 3 good sources to make a solid point. Some things take even more. I know everything has been said, but maybe I can crank up the volume just a little bit. And maybe it’s been said somewhere, but that doesn’t mean everyone has heard.
So, why do I blog? Because I know I’m only agreeing with someone else, and I don’t want them to feel alone. Because I have things that need saying, and I’m not bold enough to speak them in public. Because I’m thinking and changing, and I just have to let it out, if for no other reason than to say to some girl down the road, I’ve been there.
I’m still not super happy with this post, but it’s something. Sometimes you just have to go with what you have I guess. Another message to other writers and thinkers. Just go for it. If it flops, hey, who cares?